Hey Mom, Now What?

My Monday Message- Vol. 2

Use this Quick Tip To Get Yourself Unstuck

 Confession: I have had a real rough time over the last couple weeks. I have felt completely overwhelmed and stuck as far as writing, working and mom-ing go, which is why I haven’t posted anything. I know, this can be a busy time of year and there is a lot to plan for. But the truth is, I have not done a damn thing. There has been no writing, as you already know, dear friends. But, there also has been no forward motion at all. I don’t have a single thing done for Christmas, no tree yet, no presents bought or wrapped… I haven’t even written a Christmas shopping list.

 I know what you’re thinking….

What are you doing lady! Get moving, already!

  Yes, I have been absolutely stuck. Mentally motionless. And it really, really sucks. I know everything I should be doing, but my problem is that I just couldn’t bring myself to start.

Which leads me to my Monday Message quick tip for you all.

“How do you eat an Elephant?

You do it one bite at a time.”

  This quote came to me yesterday from a very wise man… ok, it was my husband Steve, but it still clicked for me. I have ADHD, and for anyone who struggles with this as an adult, you probably know what I am going to say next. I have a very difficult time staying motivated or on task with anything that I need to do, even things I enjoy. The “H” in my version of ADHD I consider to be “Hyperfocus,” which means I also can become so zoned in on something that I lose track of time, waste hours on something that isn’t important and I am chronically late. 

  I became so overwhelmed because I was looking at the big picture of EVERYTHING that I wanted to do. Not only was it a to-do list, it was a list of things that in my mind I wanted to finish perfectly and immediately. Impossible, of course. Unless it is Allie’s irrational brain doing the planning. I was so stuck that instead of starting one thing, I stopped everything. I was literally mentally frozen; I couldn’t even start to think about blogging without feeling my anxiety go up. 

 Steve’s quote actually unlocked that feeling. I know it sounds really corny, but it was kind of an “A-ha!” moment. I was able to see that I was focusing too much on everything, and not enough on just one thing.  

  When you feel that you are getting bogged down, mentally stuck and motionless, stop looking at the big picture. Find one thing, even it is is as small as emptying the dishwasher, and do it. And yes, congratulate and praise yourself for taking a step towards moving forward again.

  Now, I have read on a lot of blogs and articles that when you write content, you should make it personal without making it too personal. No one really wants to read my diary, I get that. But, I couldn’t share this Monday Message with you without telling you my own experience. I couldn’t advise you how to become un-stuck if I was still stuck. My hope for the Monday Message series is that what I write will open up a conversation with everyone. Please comment below and share your thoughts or experiences, I love to hear from you!

5 thoughts on “My Monday Message- Vol. 2

  1. This was the best article I have read in a very long time. Probably years since I’ve read something so profound. Thank you!

    I have never been diagnosed with ADHD, but I do have Bipolar Disorder and this is exactly what I have been going through for years. And you have just opened my eyes to what’s going on and in my reflection can say “Yes. That IS exactly what is going on with me.

    I cannot thank you enough for sharing this. You have definitely saved 1 person today. I had given up, on EVERYTHING, because I couldn’t do it all at once and I couldn’t do it all to my specifications.

    You said exactly what I have been trying to describe in my own blog for the past 1-2 weeks.

    CynGust (cgust1970bipolarperiod.com)

    1. Hey Cindy, I’m glad to hear you found it helpful! There are so many similarities between Bipolar Disorder and ADHD… I’ve been thinking about doing an ebook on real life strategies to manage mental health symptoms, particularly those two diagnoses. I have a lot of experience with the people I see at work, and I have seen what helps and what doesn’t. I don’t want to just rehash what every other person writes about though. It’s good to have your feedback about this tip. Please let me know what you think on future posts!

  2. I have ADHD and the feeling of being stuck is what led to me starting EMDR and neurofeedback to help me overcome the feeling of stuck. My stuck was due to my diagnosis, so those options are what I needed to get unstuck to start. From there, I’ve learned strategies and skills that now help me to ensure when I start to feel overwhelmed, I have a “bag of tricks”. If I hadn’t already had those in pocket, this post would have been very helpful to me because it shares a tip that is now a first step for me in getting unstuck: “Find one thing, even it is is as small as emptying the dishwasher, and do it. And yes, congratulate and praise yourself for taking a step towards moving forward again.” Those who come across this before spending thousands on therapy will be blessed! 🙂 Truly great suggestion.

So, what do you think? Share your thoughts below!

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